Joke of the Day

[Cap'n Grumpy]

My wife is always complaining that I'm tight with money so yesterday, to surprise her, I treated her to afternoon tea.

It was very exciting as she had never given blood before ...

SPOILER ALERT

First time donors get a cold drink. (at least they did when I gave my first pint back in 1977)

I'm on about 200. Can't recall the refreshments for No 1.

All different in Ireland back in the day - tea, coffee or Guinness

https://www.rte.ie/archives/2020/0402/1 ... lood-bank/

Fair play to ya - I presume (perhaps wrongly) that you donate platelets or plasma or such like much more frequently than the usual 2-3 times per year, to have that many donations? Either that or yer nearly 100 years old and lie about yer age???

Or perhaps you just donate other people's blood?

Did ya get yer wee BTS Vase for 100 donations? (Im not sure they give anything else for more than that as even 100 is very rare).

They pulled the plug on me at 127 donations because I was diagnosed (wrongly as it happened) with an ailment that barred me from donating. Even though it turned out to be wrong, they still wouldn't take my blood once the diagnosis was on my record - I suppose . . . just in case....?

I had also given countless "uncounted" donations as my blood had some rare antibody they used for tissue typing way back in the day or for "control" blood for certain tests, (neither of which is required these days with improved methedology) but those were mostly about 50-200ml at a time, so barely even a handful (by Tony Hancock's reckoning).

[big mervyn]

My wife is always complaining that I'm tight with money so yesterday, to surprise her, I treated her to afternoon tea.

It was very exciting as she had never given blood before ...

SPOILER ALERT

First time donors get a cold drink. (at least they did when I gave my first pint back in 1977)

I'm on about 200. Can't recall the refreshments for No 1.

All different in Ireland back in the day - tea, coffee or Guinness

https://www.rte.ie/archives/2020/0402/1 ... lood-bank/

Fair play to ya - I presume (perhaps wrongly) that you donate platelets or plasma or such like much more frequently than the usual 2-3 times per year, to have that many donations? Either that or yer nearly 100 years old and lie about yer age???

Or perhaps you just donate other people's blood?

Did ya get yer wee BTS Vase for 100 donations? (Im not sure they give anything else for more than that as even 100 is very rare).

They pulled the plug on me at 127 donations because I was diagnosed (wrongly as it happened) with an ailment that barred me from donating. Even though it turned out to be wrong, they still wouldn't take my blood once the diagnosis was on my record - I suppose . . . just in case....?

I had also given countless "uncounted" donations as my blood had some rare antibody they used for tissue typing way back in the day or for "control" blood for certain tests, (neither of which is required these days with improved methedology) but those were mostly about 50-200ml at a time, so barely even a handful (by Tony Hancock's reckoning).

Yeah. I did platelets for a few years and then plasma for a while. Back to whole blood now. Got the crystal vase and the silver and gold pins. Nothing after that.

[Cap'n Grumpy]

My wife is always complaining that I'm tight with money so yesterday, to surprise her, I treated her to afternoon tea.

It was very exciting as she had never given blood before ...

SPOILER ALERT

First time donors get a cold drink. (at least they did when I gave my first pint back in 1977)

I'm on about 200. Can't recall the refreshments for No 1.

All different in Ireland back in the day - tea, coffee or Guinness

https://www.rte.ie/archives/2020/0402/1 ... lood-bank/

Fair play to ya - I presume (perhaps wrongly) that you donate platelets or plasma or such like much more frequently than the usual 2-3 times per year, to have that many donations? Either that or yer nearly 100 years old and lie about yer age???

Or perhaps you just donate other people's blood?

Did ya get yer wee BTS Vase for 100 donations? (Im not sure they give anything else for more than that as even 100 is very rare).

They pulled the plug on me at 127 donations because I was diagnosed (wrongly as it happened) with an ailment that barred me from donating. Even though it turned out to be wrong, they still wouldn't take my blood once the diagnosis was on my record - I suppose . . . just in case....?

I had also given countless "uncounted" donations as my blood had some rare antibody they used for tissue typing way back in the day or for "control" blood for certain tests, (neither of which is required these days with improved methedology) but those were mostly about 50-200ml at a time, so barely even a handful (by Tony Hancock's reckoning).

Yeah. I did platelets for a few years and then plasma for a while. Back to whole blood now. Got the crystal vase and the silver and gold pins. Nothing after that.

Likewise - the crystal vase and all the different coloured pins. You've taken it farther than I did though.

Wonder did we ever unknowingly meet in Durham Street, before we eventually met at Ravers?

[big mervyn]

Wonder did we ever unknowingly meet in Durham Street, before we eventually met at Ravers?

Probably not. I was only in Durham St a couple of times before they relocated to the new unit in the City Hospital. Dr Scally was in charge when I was a regular.

[Bobbievee]

They bucked me out in my early 40s ie to high BP.
In mid 70s, UWCstrike, after an urgent appeal for donors, I ran to the local station from work, ran back to work to Coll car keys ( which I had forgotten; no tea, no Guinness, no FA!) , drove to bank and ran there before it closed for the day, drove home , chopped firewood to get fire lit (no electricity) , put a piece of wood ( matchstick sized embedded near my nail) in my thumb…….and fainted!
Still a source of much hilarity in the family……especially when my wife rang work to say I would not be back in the afternoon due to a skelf!
Still going nearly 50 years later……but never allowed to give blood again
Well done guys

Hats off to all donors!

[Cap'n Grumpy]

Wonder did we ever unknowingly meet in Durham Street, before we eventually met at Ravers?

Probably not. I was only in Durham St a couple of times before they relocated to the new unit in the City Hospital. Dr Scally was in charge when I was a regular.

Dr Scally was a lovely woman. I was only at the new unit at BCH a few times before they stopped taking my blood, but we must have overlapped for a short while just before and after the move. Of course, not necessarily on the same days or even weeks.

[Dave]

I don't get it...

[justinr73]

No sense of humour…

[Dave]

No sense of humour…

Lol

[Setanta]

You could have saved two words there.

[Dave]

You could have saved two words there.

[Cap'n Grumpy]

Young couple have a baby.

Eventually, the nipper says it's first word, which is "gandad"

The following day, the mother is shocked to hear that her seemingly fit and well father had died suddenly.

A few weeks later the bairn says its 2nd word which is "dog"

The following day, they're shocked to find their mutt lying dead in the garden.

Coincidence or wot?

A short while later the wean says its 3rd word "anti" (or was that "aunty"?)

Sure enough the following day mum finds out her sister has shuffled off this mortal coil too.

Inevitably the child says its next word which is "Dad"

Dad of course is scared witless. He calls all his family, tells them how much he loves them, and decides the following day, he'll take himself off to be by himself in the countryside where he feels at home (but first telling his wife exactly where he's going - he's no fool!)

The day goes on by slowly, as he contemplates how the end will come. Lunchtime comes and goes, but he's not hungry. By mid afternoon, he's beginning to think all the other deaths were coincidence. By dinner time, he's convinced it was coincidence - and he goes home...

... where he hears that the man next door has dropped dead suddenly.