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Joke of the Day

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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Liz Fraser » Sun Jun 10, 2018 9:41 am

Wife- Do you think I look fat in this dress?
Husband- Do you promise not to get mad no matter what I say?
Wife- Yes I promise
Husband- I shagged your sister
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Dave » Sun Jun 10, 2018 11:14 am

What do you call a pony with a sore throat?

A little hoarse
I have my own tv channel, what have you got?
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby rumncoke » Wed Jun 27, 2018 5:36 pm

Hear about the girl who asked a guy if he had a Tena ?

He said” I didn’t know you were charging “



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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Wee Woman » Wed Jun 27, 2018 7:07 pm

Speaking of Tenas, anyone else getting these feckin adverts on their Tapatalk feed?

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Cheeky bastids
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Rooster » Wed Jun 27, 2018 8:37 pm

Wee Woman wrote:Speaking of Tenas, anyone else getting these feckin adverts on their Tapatalk feed?

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Cheeky bastids
Nope
“That made me feel very special and underlined to me that Ulster is more than a team, it is a community and a rugby family"
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Cap'n Grumpy » Sun Jul 15, 2018 2:32 pm

Wot with all the shenanigans going on wi Ulster rugby this season, I have been experiencing a few anger issues lately.

Therapist suggested that I write letters to all the people who have annoyed me, and then burn them.

I've now done that ....but am now wondering wot to do with all these letters I'm left with?

Thoughts?
No plan survives the first contact with the enemy!
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Samstew » Mon Aug 06, 2018 6:04 pm

Sinead O’Connor has offered to sing the Prince classic at Barry Chuckles funeral, Nothing Compares 2 Me 2 You.


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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby BaggyTrousers » Mon Aug 06, 2018 6:20 pm

Wee Woman wrote:Speaking of Tenas, anyone else getting these feckin adverts on their Tapatalk feed?

Image

Cheeky bastids


I feel your pain WW, I don't get them but for about 10 years I've had offers from all over the world 1) from whom to buy Viagra 2) asking if I am looking for a fu'ck-buddy.

I tell them 1) no thanks, as a horndog, I've never had trouble cracking a fat, 2) Nah thanks, your top shaggers might laugh at my best, I mean I'm in my 60s FFFS, I'm no longer a bedroom athlete.
Support the team and coaching staff. Forget the rest,BUT NEVER MOVE ON.

FIRFU - FU'CK YOU ONE AND ALL, CAVING IN TO SPONSORS, SACKING THE INNOCENT FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE, SHAMEFUL BASTA'RDS. YOU'VE LOST MY SUPPORT & I HOPE MORE ULSTERMEN & WOMEN
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Dave » Mon Aug 06, 2018 8:32 pm

Image
I have my own tv channel, what have you got?
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby armalig » Mon Aug 06, 2018 8:38 pm

Do u ever wonder who picks up a guide dogs sh1te?
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby big mervyn » Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:30 pm

armalig wrote:Do u ever wonder who picks up a guide dogs sh1te?

They are trained to do it on command in an appropriate place. If they are caught short they'll use the gutter.
Volunteer at an animal sanctuary; it will fill you with joy , despair, but most of all love, unconditional love of the animals.
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby armalig » Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:42 pm

big mervyn wrote:
armalig wrote:Do u ever wonder who picks up a guide dogs sh1te?

They are trained to do it on command in an appropriate place. If they are caught short they'll use the gutter.

SIT ! :lol:
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Samstew » Sun Aug 19, 2018 11:23 am

Image


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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby big mervyn » Mon Aug 20, 2018 9:49 am

Samstew wrote:Image


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>appl
Volunteer at an animal sanctuary; it will fill you with joy , despair, but most of all love, unconditional love of the animals.
Big Neville Southall
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Re: Joke of the Day

Postby Russ » Tue Aug 28, 2018 1:14 pm

Primark on fire
10s of pounds of clothes destroyed

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