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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:14 am
by Samstew
A woman goes to see the GP, after an assessment he says it looks like your pregnant.
Pregnant exclaims the woman, no says the GP, it looks like you are.


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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 12:24 pm
by Snipe Watson
Image

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 11:59 am
by Cornerfleg
5 gulders and a clap Snipe ....

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:32 pm
by Russ
Snipe Watson wrote:Image
Please quote sauce in future

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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:35 pm
by Dave
No one grows ketchup like Heinz

- Heinz

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:36 pm
by BaggyTrousers
I'm considering circumcision, have been reading the definitive book by Ivan Nackanikenimov. That was after I'd been to the GP about my lifelong bedwetting and he suggested I read, "Yellow Streams" by I P Knightley.

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:51 pm
by Snipe Watson
Russ wrote:
Snipe Watson wrote:Image
Please quote sauce in future

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Image

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:38 pm
by BaggyTrousers
She's no Sean Spicer you know .....................just a feckin' ignorant harridan.

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 10:43 pm
by Snipe Watson
BaggyTrousers wrote:She's no Sean Spicer you know .....................just a feckin' ignorant harridan.
She has some brass neck on her. She could teach Logan how to bullshit.

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 11:38 am
by rumncoke
Baggy there is another book you should read ,and maybe a few others should, as well,

"How about It?" by R U Willing

a book long out of print

"Are you Dancing ?" by R U Askin

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 3:16 pm
by big mervyn
rumncoke wrote:Baggy there is another book you should read ,and maybe a few others should, as well,

"How about It?" by R U Willing

a book long out of print

"Are you Dancing ?" by R U Askin
Conquer Your Prostate by IP Frieley may be of some use to youse coffin dodgers :lol:

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2018 3:54 pm
by big mervyn
Watched Brad Pitt playing a Ra man from Cookstown last night. Funniest thing I've seen in a good while.

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2018 6:17 pm
by Polly Cotton
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are about to have sex when Holmes rushes off to the kitchen.
He comes back with a jar of lemon curd. Watson asks, what on earth is that for. "Lemon entry my dear Watson, lemon entry"

Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:18 pm
by Samstew
Went to bed the other night, only to find the wife laid out on the bed, sucking her lollipop, all sexy like.
She licked it slowly, drawing it along her tongue, she then surprised me by running it down her body, inserting it up her........,and then licking it again.
I told her to be careful, as she would need it for work the next day, helping the kids cross the road.


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Re: Joke of the Day

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:23 pm
by Samstew
We were on a family day out driving one day and found ourselves stuck behind an Anne Summers delivery lorry.
Suddenly a dildo fell from the back of the lorry, smashing into the windscreen and ricocheting off.
Not wanting to draw attention to what it was in front of the kids, the wife said, that was a large insect.
Wee Sam in the back exclaimed, insect, I’m surprised it could fly with a bit that size!!!


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