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Biblical matters

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Re: Biblical matters

Postby Russ » Thu May 12, 2016 3:50 pm

Any shagging in the bibble?
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Re: Biblical matters

Postby CIMANFOREVER » Thu May 12, 2016 4:19 pm

Well the Egyptians were f*cked after the plagues.. were they a metaphor for STI's?

And Mary's shagging was, in His own words, Immaculate, so fair do's Big Man...
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Re: Biblical matters

Postby big mervyn » Thu May 12, 2016 5:05 pm

CIMANFOREVER wrote:Well the Egyptians were f*cked after the plagues.. were they a metaphor for STI's?

And Mary's shagging was, in His own words, Immaculate, so fair do's Big Man...

Bit of incest in the OT far as I can remember and there was all sorts going on in Sodom and Gomorrah ( clue in there somewhere >EW ).

A quare bit of the auld begetting for the more conventional types.
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Re: Biblical matters

Postby BaggyTrousers » Thu May 12, 2016 5:28 pm

Gentlemen, gentlemen ...........order, order ........... may I remind you of the pressing matter at hand and kindly keep on track.

What do I do about Mrs Trousers, her virginity or otherwise some 30-40 years ago & her potentially grasping father after 100 shekels & gettin' me a batin' - though in my experience, as a Donegal man you could say he as a bit tight, but generous of spirit for all that.

I mean I don't want Mrs Trousers stoned to death any more than I want my son thrown off the highest building in the village for his crime of being gay, but rules is rules as any DUPer will tell you. I myself am vulnerable given I'm as gay as the next man.

So solutions please, not sheeegin', begetting or sodomy ................... to stone or not to stone, that is the question.
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Re: Biblical matters

Postby Jackie Brown » Thu May 12, 2016 6:20 pm

"I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.". 1 Timothy 2:12

How do the Dup'ers live with themselves...

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Re: Biblical matters

Postby UlsterNo9 » Thu May 12, 2016 7:53 pm

Baggy, I hope your father in law wasn't Ezekiel....

Ezekiel 23:19
Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals – as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.
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Re: Biblical matters

Postby BaggyTrousers » Thu May 12, 2016 8:03 pm

Jackie Brown wrote:"I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.". 1 Timothy 2:12

How do the Dup'ers live with themselves...



Jackie, I can only assume that like Thatcher allegedly had the biggest balls around the cabinet table, maybe Arlene is the same.

Mind you Pootsie wasn't best pleased when she was enthroned by Peter Peter ........... "Her most important job has been, and will remain, that of a wife, mother and daughter. Family will always come first. I know that that will be the case with Arlene, and it should be the case."

I'd say Pootsie is a strict adherent of Tim and having put Arlene in her place, can hold his big-eared DUPer head up ...........quite apart from the obvious fact that he is a lanyard & should hang it in shame. >EW
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Re: Biblical matters

Postby jackthelad » Thu May 12, 2016 8:06 pm

BaggyTrousers wrote:I know I'm supposed to be the expert around here, but somethings are beyond even my ken. So I need the assistance of some scholar/s, for there is an issue which has me vexed full sore.

Last night whilst perusing the bible, as you do, I read in Deuteronomy that I may have an issue with my wife. You see I don't know if she was a virgin when we married, it never bothered me one way or the other to be honest. Now almost 40 years on, some might think it's a bit late in the day, but I see that I should drag her to her father's door and demand proof and heaven forbid he can't provide it, for then apparently I am to drag her off to Israel and may every man in that country stone her to death :shock:

This all seems a bit extreme, for truth be told I rather like her and she has been a first class wife this past 36 years.

I'm also a bit concerned that if her ould lad can provide evidence that will presumably have to stand up in court, that not only will I be whipped, and these buggers tend not to spare the rod, but, and it's a bit like throwing bad numbers at monopoly and landing on Regent Street with three houses on it, I have to pay him 100 Shekels and between you and me, I've got plans for every penny in the bank as it is.

Now as I've said many times, I may not be religious but I try to do the right thing. This has kept me from my sleep last night. Can anybody help? What's a man to do?

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Re: Biblical matters

Postby BaggyTrousers » Thu May 12, 2016 8:14 pm

UlsterNo9 wrote:Baggy, I hope your father in law wasn't Ezekiel....

Ezekiel 23:19
Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals – as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.


As for you 9, thon Ezekiel was around a 2000 years too earlier, the ould pervert could have made a living writing porn scripts.

Mrs T might consider awarding you a staker if you're not careful. Whaddya think 9, what choo gonna look like with a chimney on ya? :lol:
Support the team and coaching staff. Forget the rest,BUT NEVER MOVE ON.

FIRFU - FU'CK YOU ONE AND ALL, CAVING IN TO SPONSORS, SACKING THE INNOCENT FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE, SHAMEFUL BASTA'RDS. YOU'VE LOST MY SUPPORT & I HOPE MORE ULSTERMEN & WOMEN
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Re: Biblical matters

Postby jackthelad » Thu May 12, 2016 8:17 pm

BaggyTrousers wrote:
UlsterNo9 wrote:Baggy, I hope your father in law wasn't Ezekiel....

Ezekiel 23:19
Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals – as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.


As for you 9, thon Ezekiel was around a 2000 years too earlier, the ould pervert could have made a living writing porn scripts.

Mrs T might consider awarding you a staker if you're not careful. Whaddya think 9, what choo gonna look like with a chimney on ya? :lol:


Everybody knows Ezekiel was a renowned kiddy fiddler and a nonce. Google translates Ezekiel as 'Jimmy Saville'
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Re: Biblical matters

Postby BaggyTrousers » Thu May 12, 2016 8:18 pm

Jack, 2 fine pieces of splendid bit of wisdom, but FFS man ..............the question is to stone or not to stone?

The mentalists appear to be adherents of Bob Dylan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0Zxd5jp-lI
Support the team and coaching staff. Forget the rest,BUT NEVER MOVE ON.

FIRFU - FU'CK YOU ONE AND ALL, CAVING IN TO SPONSORS, SACKING THE INNOCENT FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE, SHAMEFUL BASTA'RDS. YOU'VE LOST MY SUPPORT & I HOPE MORE ULSTERMEN & WOMEN
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Re: Biblical matters

Postby jackthelad » Thu May 12, 2016 8:23 pm

BaggyTrousers wrote:Jack, 2 fine pieces of splendid bit of wisdom, but FFS man ..............the question is to stone or not to stone?

The mentalists appear to be adherents of Bob Dylan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0Zxd5jp-lI


Mentalists are a waste of good church bells. Stone the feckers but always remember health and safety. Helmets and body armour are needed....except if it's Nelson Mcfukingcauseland who believes the world was made in 4004 B.C.E.
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Re: Biblical matters

Postby CIMANFOREVER » Thu May 12, 2016 9:23 pm

Caleb foundation I tells ye......
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Re: Biblical matters

Postby Bart S » Thu May 12, 2016 9:44 pm

Baggy - why the sudden religious fervour? Is it really all a cunning plan to get one of those lucrative IQ Dave contracts that Ulster rugby seem to love dishing out??
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Re: Biblical matters

Postby BaggyTrousers » Thu May 12, 2016 11:15 pm

Bart S wrote:Baggy - why the sudden religious fervour? Is it really all a cunning plan to get one of those lucrative IQ Dave contracts that Ulster rugby seem to love dishing out??


I've always been interested in religious matters Bart, sure it's hard to avoid it in this horrid wee statelet but here, although I'm not a believer I do think it's important to know what the enemy is thinking, and yes I do believe that religion is an enemy of rational thinking and amongst other things, equality in both basic & varied respects.

In respect of my particular query we see the inequality that religion imposes on woman, a man committing adultery receives a mere 150 lashes whereas a woman is buried up to the neck and stoned to death. Even if both man & woman are condemned to be stoned here is an interesting piece of inequality. It a stoning victim escapes during the stoning they may go free, but here, a man is buried from the waist down whereas a woman is buried up to the neck, guess which sex is more likely to survive a good stoning?

So yes I'm interested in what the enemies of humanity are up to ..........FFS I used to buy the Daily Torygraph 3 or 4 days a week to keep abreast to the enemy of civilization and their evil ways.


Usual Caveat applies: there are many very very good people involved in both structured religion and also on the fringes of organised religion, where perhaps, and this is simply a personal thought, a softer more egalitarian type of decent spud exists.
Support the team and coaching staff. Forget the rest,BUT NEVER MOVE ON.

FIRFU - FU'CK YOU ONE AND ALL, CAVING IN TO SPONSORS, SACKING THE INNOCENT FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE, SHAMEFUL BASTA'RDS. YOU'VE LOST MY SUPPORT & I HOPE MORE ULSTERMEN & WOMEN
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