One Hundred Things That Boil My Pish

Fancy a pint? Join the crai­c and non-rugby topics here.

Moderator: Moderators

User avatar
BaggyTrousers
Rí­ na Cúige Uladh
Posts: 30337
Joined: Sat Jun 18, 2011 6:29 pm
Location: España

One Hundred Things That Boil My Pish

Post by BaggyTrousers »

As we approach year end, here are 100 things that have triggered my admittedly quick temper this year.

1. Grown-ups in three-quarter length trousers.
2. Ibe Sesay, a.k.a. “The moron with the mic”.
3. David Nucifora
4. Gideon
5. Dave the Pigfecker
6. Moronic shoppers who block entire aisles with their trolley at a jaunty angle.
7. PRL
8. Almost the entire population of NZ, especially rugby wives.
9. Tax dodgers on an industrial scale
10. People who have no idea how lucky they are to enjoy good health
11. Dog owners who give dog owners like me a bad name.
12. Cream of the Barley
13. Offal
14. VW drivers, ignorant shower of shyte by and large
15. BMW drivers, no concept of where their indicators are.
16. Spides
17. The Loyal Orange Order and sundry minor triumphalist groups
18. Concerned residents.
19. The Ancient Order of Hibernians
20. Cilla Black
21. The Ra
22. Boy Bands
23. Dickheads like Rita Ora who talk utter titwank to idiots who can barely sing, cruelly encouraging their fantasies.
24. Bombing Syria, for no good reason other than as a political display
25. The entire DUP
26. David Ford’s wee patronising face & irritating voice.
27. Organised Religion
28. Paedophiles
29. Rugby players who consider it fine to assault women
30. Cashpoint Cripples who park in disabled parking bays
31. The Last Night of the Proms, English dickheadery at its worst.
32. Arsefoons
33. The Arms industry
34. Margaret Thatcher
35. Sir Paedophile Heath
36. London Irish RFC
37. Children singing at Ravenhill
38. School plays
39. Carol Services, particularly at schools.
40. Facebook Rugby Fans
41. Twitter
42. The Tea Party
43. Most African States
44. Producers of Columbian Marching Powder & other drugs
45. Legal Highs
46. Suicide
47. Those who oppose legalisation of assisted dying.
48. Homophobes, many of who will also hate women who have abortions.
49. Men who feel informed to rule on abortion
50. Dodgy Solicitors
51. Public Enquiries in relation to NI Troubles Inc.
52. Wee NI Neds carrying banners such as “Damacrisy doesn’t work”
53. The insidious creeping influence of Mercan English, I’ve often thought people using “gotten” on this forum should be treated like the silly children they are and banned for life.
54. The Word censor that changes B I G OT to biased. Sweet Jesus.
55. Men who call bitches “chicks”, so 1970s
56. Steve Wright’s Love Songs on a Sunday morning when I have to politely tell Mrs T to “turn it off”, I’m putting on some Steely Dan.
57. People who don’t grasp that Steely Dan are the greatest band (OK duo with a myriad of assistants) ever to play popular music without bothering the hit parade.
58. The incompetence of “jeep type” vehicle drivers parking when one space just isn’t enough.
59. UKIP
60. Misogynists
61. The Welsh but also Anne Robinson for balance.
62. Tennis
63. Formula 1
64. Lance Armstrong
65. Floods
66. Thon wee numpty at the Belfast Tabernacle
67. Northern Ireland, especially the vast majority of the people.
68. Boot laces that refuse to stay tied
69. Companies who will not deliver to NI
70. Noisy children
71. Other children, for even the best are like farts, you can just about stand your own.
72. Any television/movie with “Zombies”
73. Teresa May
74. Radio 1
75. Creamed rice
76. People who wear sandals with socks.
77. Facial hair that is not a beard, especially metrosexual whiskers preened and tended with care and that stupid little bit that chubes grow under their nether lip.
78. Women who dye their hair green.
79. Car drivers wearing headphones.
80. NHS waiting lists
81. Science Fiction
82. Cyclists, especially the thoughtlessbastards of NDCC, pink & black clad lycra louts.
83. Country Music
84. Rap music & throw in hippityfeckin’hop.
85. Singers who perform with dancers
86. Ulster’s 7 Commandments
87. The Turner Prize
88. Cancer
89. Facebook Rugby Fans
90. Loyalist Flegs
91. Cocktail waiters/jugglers
92. Dumb posters
93. Saracens
94. Thon stupid thing on BBC about “no one ever liked a sprout” WTF is thon about?
95. Ignorant bollixes
96. “Closure”, what a dumb concept
97. Jonny Wilkinson’s Toulon, that bawling Pilou Pilou dickhead and the paper throwing louts.
98. Donald “Combover” Trump
99. Racist politcians
100. Pre-Christmas weeks and the annoying bollixes who fill them with utter misery.
NEVER MOVE ON. Years on, I cannot ever watch Ireland with anything but indifference, I continue to wish for the imminent death of Donal Spring, the FIRFUC's executioner of Wee Paddy & Wee Stu, and I hate the FIRFUCs with undiminished passion.
User avatar
BaggyTrousers
Rí­ na Cúige Uladh
Posts: 30337
Joined: Sat Jun 18, 2011 6:29 pm
Location: España

Re: One Hundred Things That Boil My Pish

Post by BaggyTrousers »

Yeah, I know, I was bored. :roll:
NEVER MOVE ON. Years on, I cannot ever watch Ireland with anything but indifference, I continue to wish for the imminent death of Donal Spring, the FIRFUC's executioner of Wee Paddy & Wee Stu, and I hate the FIRFUCs with undiminished passion.
damianmcr
Lord Chancellor
Posts: 6665
Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2010 9:56 pm

Re: One Hundred Things That Boil My Pish

Post by damianmcr »

Made my day finding I wasn't on the list.

Agree with a lot of this.
for dog and ulcer
Lord Chancellor
Posts: 4204
Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2005 5:51 pm
Location: Mid Down

Re: One Hundred Things That Boil My Pish

Post by for dog and ulcer »

I cannot agree with all of these- I like creamed rice. :D
Bangors
Novice
Posts: 289
Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2012 10:35 pm

Re: One Hundred Things That Boil My Pish

Post by Bangors »

BT get a life you are a very sad individual
User avatar
Bring Humph On!!
Squire
Posts: 669
Joined: Fri Dec 18, 2009 6:22 pm

Re: One Hundred Things That Boil My Pish

Post by Bring Humph On!! »

I laughed out loud at a few of those. Very good.
"But going forward, at Ulster Rugby, one thing will never change. As long as this great club exists, the person and the player, Nevin Spence, will never be forgotten."



IF!!! ..... I CAN DO NOTHING WITH IF!!
User avatar
mid ulster maestro
Warrior Chief
Posts: 1875
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2005 8:32 pm
Location: The Sticks

Re: One Hundred Things That Boil My Pish

Post by mid ulster maestro »

I notice you didn't have Sarries on the list Baggy. I thought that would have been numero uno.
When the bottom has fallen out of your world.
Take Enos and let the world fall out of your bottom!
User avatar
Shan
Rí­ na Cúige Uladh
Posts: 11524
Joined: Mon Sep 24, 2007 6:55 pm
Location: Limerick

Re: One Hundred Things That Boil My Pish

Post by Shan »

Facebook Rugby Fans there twice, at 40 & 89. Entirely unacceptable Baggy. You need one more.
It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways.
User avatar
Shan
Rí­ na Cúige Uladh
Posts: 11524
Joined: Mon Sep 24, 2007 6:55 pm
Location: Limerick

Re: One Hundred Things That Boil My Pish

Post by Shan »

mid ulster maestro wrote:I notice you didn't have Sarries on the list Baggy. I thought that would have been numero uno.
Number 93. You possibly fell asleep before getting through the whole list. :D
It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways.
User avatar
BaggyTrousers
Rí­ na Cúige Uladh
Posts: 30337
Joined: Sat Jun 18, 2011 6:29 pm
Location: España

Re: One Hundred Things That Boil My Pish

Post by BaggyTrousers »

Bangors wrote:BT get a life you are a very sad individual
:duh:

101. Bangors
NEVER MOVE ON. Years on, I cannot ever watch Ireland with anything but indifference, I continue to wish for the imminent death of Donal Spring, the FIRFUC's executioner of Wee Paddy & Wee Stu, and I hate the FIRFUCs with undiminished passion.
User avatar
BaggyTrousers
Rí­ na Cúige Uladh
Posts: 30337
Joined: Sat Jun 18, 2011 6:29 pm
Location: España

Re: One Hundred Things That Boil My Pish

Post by BaggyTrousers »

Shan wrote:Facebook Rugby Fans there twice, at 40 & 89. Entirely unacceptable Baggy. You need one more.
Sorted, Bangors volunteered.

Anyway, I hate the "we are brill" feckers almost as much as Donald J Trump's syrup.
NEVER MOVE ON. Years on, I cannot ever watch Ireland with anything but indifference, I continue to wish for the imminent death of Donal Spring, the FIRFUC's executioner of Wee Paddy & Wee Stu, and I hate the FIRFUCs with undiminished passion.
User avatar
Rooster
Rí­ na Cúige Uladh
Posts: 40137
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2005 12:39 am
Location: Chicken coop 17

Re: One Hundred Things That Boil My Pish

Post by Rooster »

I like sprouts, very tasty veg
“That made me feel very special and underlined to me that Ulster is more than a team, it is a community and a rugby family"
Rory Best
User avatar
BaggyTrousers
Rí­ na Cúige Uladh
Posts: 30337
Joined: Sat Jun 18, 2011 6:29 pm
Location: España

Re: One Hundred Things That Boil My Pish

Post by BaggyTrousers »

Rooster wrote:I like sprouts, very tasty veg
Me too, :thumleft: though I have trained everyone in the house to refer to them as Satan's farts.
NEVER MOVE ON. Years on, I cannot ever watch Ireland with anything but indifference, I continue to wish for the imminent death of Donal Spring, the FIRFUC's executioner of Wee Paddy & Wee Stu, and I hate the FIRFUCs with undiminished passion.
User avatar
Cornerfleg
Rí­ na Cúige Uladh
Posts: 11600
Joined: Mon Sep 20, 2010 9:56 pm
Location: In Toulon ... waiting for an offer

Re: One Hundred Things That Boil My Pish

Post by Cornerfleg »

I started off with Jim Allister ... and could not stomach going any further....
Always ask yourself, "What would Big Rodney do"... And every time the answer is... "Eat It"
User avatar
HairyJ
Initiate
Posts: 460
Joined: Wed Oct 21, 2015 11:09 pm

Re: One Hundred Things That Boil My Pish

Post by HairyJ »

Hahaha, outstanding.

I don't agree with all 100 but certainly the vast majority.

Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk
Post Reply