We just lost to Edinburgh

[Liz Fraser]

Some stats from the game:
1. Craig Gilroy beat the most Edinburgh defenders last night, despite the fact he was only on for 10 minutes.
2. We made two offloads during that whole match.
3. We conceded 11 turnovers, however Edinburgh conceded 13.
4. Nick Timoney made 28 tackles
5. Rodney Ah You missed 4 tackles despite only being on for 15 minutes, the most missed by anyone on the pitch (Rea close behind with 3). In total we missed 27 tackles.
6. We only conceded 5 penalties, 3 of which were conceded by props. Edinburgh conceded 10.
7. We only had 39% possession and 30% territory.
8. Edinburgh won all 11 of their mauls, Ulster got 5/6.
9. Ulster had a 100% scrum rate and won 9/10 of our lineouts.
10. Edinburgh made 7 clean breaks, 4 more than Ulster, beat more than twice the number of defenders (27 - 12) and made 12 offloads, 10 more than us.

11.Kyle McCall has gone up a cup size to 58 ddddd.
12. Rodney Ah Nos recent bmi confirms he is now 75% body fat which technically means he has more characteristics related to batter than those of a human.
13. Last night's rendition of SUFTUM was not the most uplifting version of the song as falsely claimed by Jim Neilly.
It did however win the 'cringefest UK' award for most insincere attempt of a rousing spontaneous song, first won by Michael Foots version of Night Fever at the 1983 Labour party conference.
14.Tommy Bowe not only leads the all time record for league tries but he also broke the record for autographs signed.
Last night was his 2437789th in his career, beating Darren Caves previous mark.
Despite Darrens efforts he has been stuck on 2437788 for this entire season now as people no longer know who he is.
16. Darren Caves record was not the only one to fall last night.
The BBC recorded there were over 25000 'tut and switches' as viewers switched channels last night simultaneously directly after Weirs drop goal.
This BBC NI record tops the previous best regularly set by the Nolan show.

[222toHounslow]

Apathy is rife at Ravenhill on match nights.

[BaggyTrousers]

Problem is if we get rid of the dead wood, on a night like last night we'd have finished up with 5 or 6 players on the pitch.

We need a ready supply of big hard angry halliens with hands like silk and a rugby brain. Simples!

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Exactly Dearie, for several years I felt it my duty to chastise those who cannot or refuse to see the big picture and talk about sweeping away the deadwood. As you sagely point out sheer numbers is the biggest problem. We've ended up taking chances on poor players but who have some qualification as Irish

Our issues:

- given the traditional of lack of indigenous talent developed, allied to the absolute fact that, effectively and to the great joy of the DUP, we have never been considered Irish enough, nobody from Peter Stringer to John Muldoon would ever consider becoming a Nordiebastard. Jordi & his fat mate may be a start of a new trend in addition to the academy lads, O'Connor & Timoney in particular who have become stalwarts. We should be given the FIRFU status equivalent of Connacht, no limit on NIQs barring the ability to pay for those of adequate quality. Special measures if you will, given the FIRFU were complicit in foisting an utter wombat on us, moonlighting as a DOR.

- our academy was allowed, under Fat C & Fit C was an utter shambles, hopefully now on the right track.

- the fact that academy players have not and do not routinely play for clubs when not involved in the team is nothing short of scandalous. The dinosaurs in the SRU even took the step of stating two or three years back that players will play for clubs if fit and not required.It should be a no-brainer, instead, we get guys involved who have barely had a run out in months.

Now despite the veracity of the above, I am increasingly fed up with rubbish players who don't really care about playing for Ulster other than payday, so in future, I would advocate that we buy in only the best NIQs we can get and play Ulstermen/Irishmen who want to play rugby that will get them the attention of the Irish coach, not just an easy few quid.

This will probably mean a prolonged period of being dung, but feck it, at least you'd be more likely to get a player's heart and soul rather than a mercenary arsehole.

[BaggyTrousers]

Apathy is rife at Ravenhill on match nights.

Yes, 222 and that is just a significant part of the dressing room.

[Dharper]

Mcphillips looks better and better. Stewart needs game time (and better protection kicking at Rucks), to see if he is good enough to be the back up 9 going forward but I’d persevere to properly assess and give him a chance.
The season is gone, it really is a trial of who should be part of the set up going forward.
We need more additions than Moore and Murphy for next season in the pack, but I expect the young lads to get better with exposure. That said Kyle I think has currently stalled, Treadwell doesn’t carry well and his tackling stats aren’t great either. Hope to Christ Bryn is looking at a loose, at best we have 3 mediocre back ups to choose from.

[BaggyTrousers]

Last night in conjunction with RVH, Ulster were trialling a new device to capture the brainwaves of players during the match and interpreting what players thoughts were during the game. Here are a selection of the results:

3. Weihahn Herbst spent 61 minutes wondering what a lion's head would look like on the wall of his lounge.
18. Herbst's replacement Rodney Ah Fuc'k spent his entire 28 minutes thinking of deep-fried breadcrumbed chicken skin, I understand he throws the meat away.
9. John Cooney spent the entire 2nd half, evenly split between wishing he could be on the end of his own pass and wish he could play inside Paddy Jackson.
6. Mattie Rea spent 49 minutes wishing people would understand his high level of unseen work.
8. Agricultural Deysel aka Red, spent 3.4 minutes wondering why Embra found it so easy to strip the ball off him on multiple occasions given he is as hard as Paddy Murphy's nails. The rest of the time he thought of nothing, utterly clueless
11. Tommy Bowe, spent 78 minutes thinking about Vogue William's geebag & 2 minutes wondering when JoeShit will call him up.
14. Craig Gilroy spent 6 minutes thinking "this looks easier than expected", whilst doing more than most in 80 minutes, especially Tommy Bowe.
12.& 13 Big Stu & NHL spent all 80 minnutes in deep concentration, inwardly repeating the mantra "safe & solid, take no chances".
7. Nick Timoney spent 80 minutes thinking, I must tackle, everyone else is missing them.
20. Chris Henry spent 24 of 25 minutes thinking, "maybe GLU, Tommy & Girrid have it right, retirement is not all that bad
22 Darren Cave: spent the entire 71 minutes he was off the pitch thinking, Ulster are this crap and I can't get a game, maybe, GLU, Tommy, Girrid & Chad are right.

At least 3 players who shall remain nameless but include Andy Warwick, David Busby & Kieran Treadwell didn't have a single thought in their head during the 80 minutes................. or perhaps their machines were faulty. More like Fawlty.

[promsandwich]

Very disappointing to lose last night, particularly because the final result came from two of our errors. The first being going to wide with a minute and a half left, man gets isolated and penalty conceded. The second being whatever the f**k Tommy was thinking about when their kick didn't go into touch. Injuries to a threadbare squad really hurt last night but on reflection I at least feel that we may be at the bottom of the curve and hopefully we can start to come up again towards the end of this year but certainly for the start of next season.

It is good to see Timoney and Rea getting game time and both of them need to continue to be exposed at this level in order to improve. McPhillips has shown enough for me to suggest he could become a good player at least at league level although regrettably he looks like he will be out for a while. If you took out Deysel and Rea and replaced them with Nordi and Coetzee that's a reasonable back row. Just need to find a couple more academy back rowers to bring in. Moore will add to our pack at tight head but we desperately need one if not two loose heads. Second row, I like O'Connor and his fight is superb but if we want to be a good side is he any better than a third choice? Treadwell needs to get half of O'Connor's fight and he could be alright. A hard edged second rower to accompany Hendo in the row with O'Connor and Treadwell as 3rd/4th choices would be good. Dalton may come through in time.

Backs are ok when all are fit but lacking in creativity.

Seems to me that we don't have the funds or ability to attract enough quality to really bring us on next year.

[Dharper]

Currently watching the Leinster scarlets game, really is at a different level.
leinsters 4th choice LH Ed Byrne is better than anything we have on the books. Luckily we are well stocked at lock as our departed DOR stated as Beirne and Fardy look half decent (tongue firmly in cheek).
We really do need to go from scratch nigh on, back the kids and not accept tom kite IQ players like RAY, or poor quality NIQs.
For the record I beleive that both young men will play for UR again verdict pending. I don’t think UR have the guts to pull the trigger or have the time/resources to source replacement as there is so much that realistically needs sorting out prior to next season.

[Liz Fraser]

Last night in conjunction with RVH, Ulster were trialling a new device to capture the brainwaves of players during the match and interpreting what players thoughts were during the game. Here are a selection of the results:

3. Weihahn Herbst spent 61 minutes wondering what a lion's head would look like on the wall of his lounge.
18. Herbst's replacement Rodney Ah Fuc'k spent his entire 28 minutes thinking of deep-fried breadcrumbed chicken skin, I understand he throws the meat away.
9. John Cooney spent the entire 2nd half, evenly split between wishing he could be on the end of his own pass and wish he could play inside Paddy Jackson.
6. Mattie Rea spent 49 minutes wishing people would understand his high level of unseen work.
8. Agricultural Deysel aka Red, spent 3.4 minutes wondering why Embra found it so easy to strip the ball off him on multiple occasions given he is as hard as Paddy Murphy's nails. The rest of the time he thought of nothing, utterly clueless
11. Tommy Bowe, spent 78 minutes thinking about Vogue William's geebag & 2 minutes wondering when JoeShit will call him up.
14. Craig Gilroy spent 6 minutes thinking "this looks easier than expected", whilst doing more than most in 80 minutes, especially Tommy Bowe.
12.& 13 Big Stu & NHL spent all 80 minnutes in deep concentration, inwardly repeating the mantra "safe & solid, take no chances".
7. Nick Timoney spent 80 minutes thinking, I must tackle, everyone else is missing them.
20. Chris Henry spent 24 of 25 minutes thinking, "maybe GLU, Tommy & Girrid have it right, retirement is not all that bad
22 Darren Cave: spent the entire 71 minutes he was off the pitch thinking, Ulster are this crap and I can't get a game, maybe, GLU, Tommy, Girrid & Chad are right.

At least 3 players who shall remain nameless but include Andy Warwick, David Busby & Kieran Treadwell didn't have a single thought in their head during the 80 minutes................. or perhaps their machines were faulty. More like Fawlty.

Did the coaches get a device as well Baggy?

[BaggyTrousers]

Dh, I said it months ago, distasteful behaviour or perfectly acceptable, depending on the judgement of 12 peers, given his importance I would like Paddy to be an Ulster player again just as soon as he becomes free to play. He is without a shadow of a doubt our best and most important player after the departure of the abysmally treated Pienaar.

I've gone through the feelings of "should they ever play again for Ulster?" and concluded that if innocent, they are innocent and should be given treatment according to the decision made and if they are not guilty, no reason at all why they should be sacked, it's called justice, furthermore it's not an area of expertise for me but I doubt employment law allows it, though companies find ways around most laws.

In the case of someone who gets into more scrapes then many will ever know, perhaps this experience might bring a bit of wit, if they remain at liberty.

Let's be very clear, moral judgment after the fact is bullshite, an organisation who resemble an utter shambles to the extent Ulster do, just cannot afford to sit on a high horse. Let's be very clear, Kiss has already lost 2000 a game from attendances, can Ulster afford to lose another couple of thousand..................or more?

[Jackie Brown]

Anyone see Piutau's interview at half-time. Standing with his suitcase packed on the sideline with £50 notes sticking out of the seams. Looking very shifty until the interviewer told him he only had one more home game to go at Kingspan, the look of relief on his face was extraordinary.

Sent from my Pixel 2 using Tapatalk

[BaggyTrousers]

Last night in conjunction with RVH, Ulster were trialling a new device to capture the brainwaves of players during the match and interpreting what players thoughts were during the game. Here are a selection of the results:

3. Weihahn Herbst spent 61 minutes wondering what a lion's head would look like on the wall of his lounge.
18. Herbst's replacement Rodney Ah Fuc'k spent his entire 28 minutes thinking of deep-fried breadcrumbed chicken skin, I understand he throws the meat away.
9. John Cooney spent the entire 2nd half, evenly split between wishing he could be on the end of his own pass and wish he could play inside Paddy Jackson.
6. Mattie Rea spent 49 minutes wishing people would understand his high level of unseen work.
8. Agricultural Deysel aka Red, spent 3.4 minutes wondering why Embra found it so easy to strip the ball off him on multiple occasions given he is as hard as Paddy Murphy's nails. The rest of the time he thought of nothing, utterly clueless
11. Tommy Bowe, spent 78 minutes thinking about Vogue William's geebag & 2 minutes wondering when JoeShit will call him up.
14. Craig Gilroy spent 6 minutes thinking "this looks easier than expected", whilst doing more than most in 80 minutes, especially Tommy Bowe.
12.& 13 Big Stu & NHL spent all 80 minnutes in deep concentration, inwardly repeating the mantra "safe & solid, take no chances".
7. Nick Timoney spent 80 minutes thinking, I must tackle, everyone else is missing them.
20. Chris Henry spent 24 of 25 minutes thinking, "maybe GLU, Tommy & Girrid have it right, retirement is not all that bad
22 Darren Cave: spent the entire 71 minutes he was off the pitch thinking, Ulster are this crap and I can't get a game, maybe, GLU, Tommy, Girrid & Chad are right.

At least 3 players who shall remain nameless but include Andy Warwick, David Busby & Kieran Treadwell didn't have a single thought in their head during the 80 minutes................. or perhaps their machines were faulty. More like Fawlty.

Did the coaches get a device as well Baggy?

Dwayne Peel pleaded the Fifth, Jono said "fack off mate" and Nial said, "houl'on, I'm the analist ........or should that be analyst?".

[Liz Fraser]

Next week I've heard they are all taking a polygraph test if that's to be believed.

[Snipe Watson]

Dh, I said it months ago, distasteful behaviour or perfectly acceptable, depending on the judgement of 12 peers, given his importance I would like Paddy to be an Ulster player again just as soon as he becomes free to play. He is without a shadow of a doubt our best and most important player after the departure of the abysmally treated Pienaar.

I've gone through the feelings of "should they ever play again for Ulster?" and concluded that if innocent, they are innocent and should be given treatment according to the decision made and if they are not guilty, no reason at all why they should be sacked, it's called justice, furthermore it's not an area of expertise for me but I doubt employment law allows it, though companies find ways around most laws.

In the case of someone who gets into more scrapes then many will ever know, perhaps this experience might bring a bit of wit, if they remain at liberty.

Let's be very clear, moral judgment after the fact is bullshite, an organisation who resemble an utter shambles to the extent Ulster do, just cannot afford to sit on a high horse. Let's be very clear, Kiss has already lost 2000 a game from attendances, can Ulster afford to lose another couple of thousand..................or more?

I'm as puritanical as the next man and believe that this is clear cut. If they are acquitted, there is absolutely no reason why they should not return to playing as soon as practicable.
The morality of their next day communications is without doubt highly questionable, but that is the way of the world. Laddish behaviour is nothing new, but nowadays it is all discoverable. What jackasses fail to acknowledge is that their every purile posting is there permanently to bite them on that ass. It's not the same as spoofing to your mates.
The question that should be asked is this. Should a player's moral judgement have an impact on their career? The answer is obviously no. I have no doubt that the rush to judgement brigade will think differently while sitting astride their high horse quietly tut-tutting to themselves. But I defy any of them to make and present a rationale for their supposedly righteous anger. I'll be happy to debate the finer points of why they are wrong.
Of course if they are found guilty of the crimes they are accused of, they should receive the full rigour of the law, public disgust and a lengthy spell at her majesty's pleasure.
Justice should be done and seen to be done.

Sent from my Moto G (5S) using Tapatalk

[Dharper]

I’ll have no issue with either playing for UR if the court decision is appropriate....I suspect a hard life lesson will have been learnt by both. I’d be surprised if there isn’t behaviour clauses in players contracts generally. I’m not talking about these 2, but heron and definitely RW would have been out the door with their convictions last season but that is just my opinion.....just can’t see what message it sends to the rest of the squad....weak management for me.

Bryn must be ultra busy. Although if he can tread water for 12 months I’d accept it. The game changer for me would be the reputation change for UR. Let’s face it, it’s all over the shop top to bottom.
Those young Leinster players in interviews all say.....I’ll bide my time for games, I’m at a top European club, training with the best coaches, best international players.....I’m getting better, I’ll stay for the time being.

UR need to show they are organised, focused on what they are doing, good coaching set up.....in short a viable option for good hungry young players....at the moment we aren’t, they’ll get game time (now) but would we make them better players?....not on what I’ve seen.

That’s where my focus would be.....it needs to be a organised set up.