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Last KISSMAS

Talk about the men in white, and everything Ulster!!

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Re: Last KISSMAS

Postby Tender » Wed Dec 27, 2017 2:23 pm

Les will have spent his Christmas back in Royston Vasey, in the local shop, for local people.

Our pack will need way more than a 10% improvement against the Munters. They need to hit harder, win all their collisions, ruck like honey badgers on heat and destroy their pack in the first thirty minutes. The intensity level needs dialled up to eleven and the knob ripped off.
Nothing less than facial scaring, missing teeth and broken fingers will be acceptable. They need to make it more lethal than a game of Shinty. In fact they should make Shinty look like Lawn Chess. They need to make Munters players cry for their mommas.

What we’ll likely get is about 15 minutes of huff and puff, followed by more Powder Puff P1SS taking and another schooling from an inter-pro team.
Can’t wait.
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Re: Last KISSMAS

Postby solidarity » Wed Dec 27, 2017 3:59 pm

Tender wrote:Les will have spent his Christmas back in Royston Vasey, in the local shop, for local people.

Our pack will need way more than a 10% improvement against the Munters. They need to hit harder, win all their collisions, ruck like honey badgers on heat and destroy their pack in the first thirty minutes. The intensity level needs dialled up to eleven and the knob ripped off.
Nothing less than facial scaring, missing teeth and broken fingers will be acceptable. They need to make it more lethal than a game of Shinty. In fact they should make Shinty look like Lawn Chess. They need to make Munters players cry for their mommas.

What we’ll likely get is about 15 minutes of huff and puff, followed by more Powder Puff P1SS taking and another schooling from an inter-pro team.
Can’t wait.

I fear it'll be a long lonely wait, Tender.
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Re: Last KISSMAS

Postby Cockatrice » Thu Dec 28, 2017 12:52 am

Tender wrote:Les will have spent his Christmas back in Royston Vasey, in the local shop, for local people.

Our pack will need way more than a 10% improvement against the Munters. They need to hit harder, win all their collisions, ruck like honey badgers on heat and destroy their pack in the first thirty minutes. The intensity level needs dialled up to eleven and the knob ripped off.
Nothing less than facial scaring, missing teeth and broken fingers will be acceptable. They need to make it more lethal than a game of Shinty. In fact they should make Shinty look like Lawn Chess. They need to make Munters players cry for their mommas.

What we’ll likely get is about 15 minutes of huff and puff, followed by more Powder Puff P1SS taking and another schooling from an inter-pro team.
Can’t wait.


Two words tender... The Hond. He will rip them apart and send them back to Limerick to think again. This guy will be an Ulster legend.
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Re: Last KISSMAS

Postby Dave » Thu Dec 28, 2017 1:15 am

Has there ever been a 100m maul try?
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Re: Last KISSMAS

Postby Tender » Thu Dec 28, 2017 1:19 am

I see you’re still washing down your Tramadol with Jameson’s Cocker. I guess you can get away with it during the hols, but try and ease up a bit before getting back to the grind.

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As I step down from the train
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Re: Last KISSMAS

Postby Jackie Brown » Thu Dec 28, 2017 8:36 am

Dave wrote:Has there ever been a 100m maul try?
I think Llanelli scored a 60m one against us in the last days of McCall?

How anyone can expect intensity from a pack that boasts the likes of Herbst, Diack and SVDM I don't know. Pussys

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Re: Last KISSMAS

Postby BaggyTrousers » Thu Dec 28, 2017 9:52 am

Dave wrote:Has there ever been a 100m maul try?



Not conceded by Ulster. They did concede a 55 metre maul try at Stradey in 2006, for three minutes I was shouting bring it down for Scaaaaalets were playing into a howling gale such as not even the Sportsground in Galway has seen.

Anyway they either didn’t hear or choose to ignore my advice and to rising bleating from the Sheepworriers they marched over and collapsed in triumph.

Hugh Millie Ation.

Still the following weekend Dr. Humphreys skilful use of the Swansea woodwork secured Ulster’s last trophy....... probably ever.
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Re: Last KISSMAS

Postby mid ulster maestro » Thu Dec 28, 2017 10:35 am

Impressive yet embarrassing.
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Re: Last KISSMAS

Postby Rooster » Thu Dec 28, 2017 1:25 pm

Deluded, he thinks our defence in general is very good >crazy1
Questioned about the side’s continuing profligacy in ceding tries, the former Ireland defence coach was clearly more than just disappointed.

“Teams occasionally do open us up, as Connacht did, those first-up ‘hits’ don’t get made, but I do believe our defence is usually very good.”
“That made me feel very special and underlined to me that Ulster is more than a team, it is a community and a rugby family"
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Re: Last KISSMAS

Postby Neill_M » Thu Dec 28, 2017 2:20 pm

Rooster wrote:Deluded, he thinks our defence in general is very good >crazy1
Questioned about the side’s continuing profligacy in ceding tries, the former Ireland defence coach was clearly more than just disappointed.

“Teams occasionally do open us up, as Connacht did, those first-up ‘hits’ don’t get made, but I do believe our defence is usually very good.”


Yup:

Have shipped on average 25 points (rounded) /game in the Pro 14. At home it is 20 points (rounded), away 31 points (rounded).

Only the Dragons and the Southern Kings have shipped more in the Conference. If you factor in the other conference, have 8th best record from the 14 sides (Dragons, Kings, Cheetahs, Ospreys, Cardiff, Zebre) beneath Ulster.

Then you have the 41 conceded in La Rochelle and the 24 shipped at home to Quins 3rd XV. Have restricted Wasps and Quins to less than 10 points also to be fair.

A more accurate statement is that very occasionally Ulster's defence is good. His comments sound like something Donald Trump would come out with.
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Re: Last KISSMAS

Postby BaggyTrousers » Thu Dec 28, 2017 3:43 pm

Delusional. >crazy1
Support the team and coaching staff. Forget the rest,BUT NEVER MOVE ON.

FIRFU - FU'CK YOU ONE AND ALL, CAVING IN TO SPONSORS, SACKING THE INNOCENT FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE, SHAMEFUL BASTA'RDS. YOU'VE LOST MY SUPPORT & I HOPE MORE ULSTERMEN & WOMEN
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Re: Last KISSMAS

Postby Inspector Brown » Thu Dec 28, 2017 4:08 pm

Our defence has been exposed as being passive and easy to unpick. It was fairly effective when we were playing a very structured game plan, but this season it has been a disorganised shambles.
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Re: Last KISSMAS

Postby exile-fer-now » Sat Dec 30, 2017 9:01 pm

I said it when Kiss was playing divide and rule with Doak/Clarke and the players from day one. This man is a con - he read the wrong management book and had NO substance to back up the cynical tactics. I had hoped he’d at least be a decent coach but he has been shocking. He has ruined the team/Club/culture. It’s a disgrace that he’s still there. Jackson/Olding not his fault but the fact we are losing Hendo too is his fault ...... why would he stay ?
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Re: Last KISSMAS

Postby BaggyTrousers » Sat Dec 30, 2017 10:36 pm

exile-fer-now wrote:I said it when Kiss was playing divide and rule with Doak/Clarke and the players from day one. This man is a con - he read the wrong management book and had NO substance to back up the cynical tactics. I had hoped he’d at least be a decent coach but he has been shocking. He has ruined the team/Club/culture. It’s a disgrace that he’s still there. Jackson/Olding not his fault but the fact we are losing Hendo too is his fault ...... why would he stay ?


1) He has had some serious injuries, go to France and as Janny the Loop has told everyone in the Irish setup, you'll be flogged.
2) Medical care in French is a shambles as anyone who has played there will confirm
3) Add on all the bonuses for Irish appearances, win bonus, tournament bonus & you aren't far short of the largest salaries paid to forwards in France.
4) Playing under FIRFU contract will almost certainly give him a longer career with similar money

Other than wanting to win something, plenty of reasons not to go.
Support the team and coaching staff. Forget the rest,BUT NEVER MOVE ON.

FIRFU - FU'CK YOU ONE AND ALL, CAVING IN TO SPONSORS, SACKING THE INNOCENT FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE, SHAMEFUL BASTA'RDS. YOU'VE LOST MY SUPPORT & I HOPE MORE ULSTERMEN & WOMEN
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Re: Last KISSMAS

Postby Tender » Sat Dec 30, 2017 11:47 pm

And Tayto Cheese’n’Onion aren’t available in France.
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